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Working from home offers many advantages, not the
least of which is the ability to spend your time as you choose.
Having been in this position for over 19 years now, I have always
treasured that benefit, but never as much as during a visit to New York
last month (October, 2001). The original purpose of the trip was to
see my sister and to meet with a mentor and fellow speaker, but it turned
into so much more, due primarily to my ability to be flexible with my
time.
I was able to visit Ground Zero and had the privilege to spend 2 days
as a Red Cross volunteer.
I want to share this experience with everyone I know (and anyone I don’t
know, for that matter!) for various reasons:
- Many would like to be able to
help as I did but cannot, and would like to know what it was like.
- To convey a better
appreciation of the scope of this atrocity and its effects.
- To spread the word about the
Red Cross and the incredible work they do.
- To assure those who have sent
cards/letters that their efforts are, indeed, appreciated
- To encourage others to do the
same
Here is the story:
I arrived in New York City on a Friday at about 11:30pm with, I must
admit, a little trepidation. As I took a cab across the Williamsburg
Bridge, I looked toward the site of the World Trade Center and saw it… a
brightly lit area between the other buildings, wisps of smoke rising
gently into the night. The
reality of it all hit me hard: I
was here, near the site of one of the most appalling acts of war in the
history of man. Normally
these things happen far away in places I have never been or rarely go, and
the idea that I was so close to history was startling.
Not that I didn’t have a connection to the site; I did. Just 3
weeks before the attack, my sister was visiting us in California (she
lives about 1 ½ miles from Ground Zero) and we were watching video of my
mother’s 80th birthday. We had celebrated it 3 years earlier
in the Windows on the World restaurant on the 104th floor of
the North Tower of the World Trade Center. It had been a spectacular
day with unlimited visibility and a view that was no less than
astonishing; the video was breathtaking and the memories came flooding
back. What a wonderful brunch we had had that day.
Now it is gone. That beautiful restaurant. The wonderful
view. And the people that worked there, well, I can’t bear to
think about it; not only that some of them may have died, but how.
It was so fresh in my mind; I couldn’t stop thinking about the view
from that high floor and what it must have been like for those trapped
there. I shudder to think of falling from that height, either with
the building or without it.
I stayed with my sister, and when I arrived at her building there was a
strange odor in the air. It was like a combination of an electrical
smell and the smell of burning brakes on a car, and it was coming from the
site of the attack.
The next day, I was drawn to Ground Zero like Richard Dreyfus was drawn
to that mountain in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind".
It was only a 25-minute walk from my sister’s apartment and, although I
couldn’t get any closer than about 2 blocks, I could see the parts of
the Towers' façade that stuck up above the rubble, and the damaged
buildings nearby. It is so very BIG. I can only equate it to
this... if you have ever been to a professional sporting event such as
baseball or football you were probably struck with how different it is to
actually be there than to see it on TV. It seems so much larger and
the grass so much greener. It's sort of like that at Ground Zero,
but instead of being delighted at the differences you are horrified.
It was then and there that I realized that I had to do something
to help. The previous week, my sister had worked with the Red Cross
and had asked if I could do something when I arrived. They told her that
only residents of the tri-state area (Connecticut, New York, New Jersey)
would be accepted. I went to apply anyway. Immediately.
The guard outside wanted a photo ID; all I had was my California
driver’s license. He waived me in. The volunteer at the desk
asked for it as well. He gave me the forms to fill out. So
far, so good. I went in for the interview and she saw my address and
frowned. At about that time I noticed a sign taped to the desk
"We can only accept volunteers from the Tri-state area…", and
the interviewer told me the same thing. She said that it was a
requirement of the FBI, who was very concerned about having too many
people on scene from too many different places. After all, over
5,000 people were murdered there and the entire site is considered a crime
scene, a fact that had a tremendous bearing on how many things were
handled.
I told her, "Good. I
want to help anyway."
She understood and off she went to ask on my behalf. She came
back and said that the policy had been changed within the hour. (Let
this serve as an example of positive thinking; had I not had that positive
attitude, I would have taken the information given to my sister as gospel
and never even gone to apply!) So off I went to orientation, which
is a one-hour class in which they tell you, among other things, how the
Red Cross works, how to dress, standards of conduct for volunteers, how to
handle the press if you are approached, what to say and not to say to
victims, and what you may and may not do with your badge..
After orientation I went to a little room and had my photo taken.
In less than 60 seconds I had a Red Cross photo ID. These people
have it down to a science. It was absolutely amazing.
Next stop: the assignment desk. There were all sorts of jobs I
could have done, but I wanted to work directly with people who were
directly affected by the attack. Amazing as it seems, I was given my
choice. "What do you want to do?" I felt almost
guilty naming a preference. It felt like I should do whatever they
asked me to do; after all, I volunteered, so I shouldn’t be fussy.
They look at it in just the opposite way. I volunteered, they are
grateful, and they want me to do something I want to do. I didn’t
know what types of jobs were available; I only knew that I wanted to work
directly with people affected directly by the attack. I could have
helped the Red Cross with administrative chores (such as operating the
computer to make the badges) but I needed to connect.
There are two "respite" centers where the workers from Ground
Zero go to rest and eat. My sister had worked a midnight shift there
(after working all day at her own graphic design business) and that was my
first choice, but I couldn't get in because all shifts were full during
the time I was going to be there. (One of them was in the World Trade
Center Marriott Hotel, which was damaged but still sound; volunteers that
worked there had to be bussed in and wear a gas mask and hard hat until
they were inside. No exceptions.)
We figured out two days that fit my schedule, they looked in their books,
and presto! I was assigned to food service at the Family Assistance
Center, Sunday from 6:00am to noon, and Tuesday from 9:00am to 2:00pm. I
was excited and nervous. What an adventure, helping out at one of the most
horrific events in modern history. It was very humbling and I felt
very small. What would it be
like?
The Family Assistance Center is in midtown, about 70 blocks from Ground
Zero at "Pier 94". When I got there, they assigned me to
the Mayor's Emergency Response Center where there were teams from every
government agency you can imagine, most in uniform, most with guns.
State police, city police, military, correctional officers, environmental
officers, plain-clothes detectives (with badges hanging around their necks
and guns in shoulder holsters), harbor police... you name it, they were
there.
I had to check-in at Pier 94 and walk through to get to my pier (Pier 92).
Pier 94 is the actual Family Assistance Center where they have assistance
services for the families of the victims such as financial aid, mental
health services, etc. Outside, on the fences accessible from the
street, were the homemade posters of the missing, posted by their families
along with flowers that have been left by the public.
Have you seen Giulani's press conferences? I was working about 100
feet from where those took place, although there were none while I was
there. Security was incredibly tight... there was a soldier patrolling the
area in full uniform, holding on to a machine gun with both hands as he
walked around scanning from right to left. Since it was a pier, it
was right on the water (duh) and there were barges in place to prevent
anyone or anything from getting into the waterways between the piers.
To get from the street to where I worked I had to show a photo ID and my
Red Cross badge three different times.
At my pier, I had to walk through the makeshift office area where there
were at least 100 desks, each of which had a computer. Many of them
had photos of missing individuals from their office, precinct, or station.
For a while, I worked stocking the coolers with drinks; everything from
V-8 to Snapple to Gatorade in 5 flavors. I bussed tables to keep the
eating area clean and inviting, and I worked the serving line (by request)
serving salad and sections of hero-type sandwiches.
I made lots of jokes and kept people smiling. Several told me
how nice it was to have that; I guess these people really needed something
on the light side and I was thrilled to provide it.
For example, they would tell me "I'd like a little salad
please" so I'd give them one single, small piece of lettuce and then
just wait. The reaction was always the same; surprise, a good laugh,
and very rewarding. Lots of other jokes... the person next to me was
serving zucchini and she left for a moment. Someone was waiting, so
I said, "I'm not trained in zucchini, but I'll give it a try..."
and then served it up. Always got a smile... it felt really good to
know that I could brighten the day, if only for a moment, of someone who
has to deal with this horror.
It's really quite amazing how involved, complex, and HUGE the entire
operation is.
Here are some snippets, observations, and factoids:
- Drawings and letters of
support from all over the country, especially from children, were
EVERYWHERE, posted on anything and everything vertical. They
were posted in the Red Cross office building, inside Pier 94 (the
Family Assistance Center) where victims, families, and workers could
see them, and inside Pier 92 for the members of the Mayor's Emergency
Response Team. I want to emphasize that anything and
everything vertical was virtually covered with good wishes from the
American public, conspicuous to those for whom they were intended.
- My sister reports that each
table in the eating area of the respite center had a pile of letters,
cards, and drawings available to the rescue workers, who browsed
through them while they ate and relaxed
- The community was appreciative
of volunteers, so they did their part and offered several benefits to
those with a Red Cross badge. For instance, many Broadway shows
were offering tickets for $25. (Kate, my assistant, offered to
treat me to a show as a birthday gift, so I took advantage of that and
got a $70 ticket for $25!) MCI had a trailer offering unlimited
telephone calls to anywhere in the world. Several New York
restaurants offered free meals. And so on
- I admit it; being around all
of those guns and uniforms was intimidating at first.
In my life, I’ve had very little direct contact guns or
gun-toting professionals (that’s basically a good thing!) and it was
difficult to joke around with these men and women of authority.
I found out that they are just people.
It was surprising that that was so surprising!
Most were friendly. Most
were appreciative. Most
laughed and interacted. It’s
funny, but the biggest, burliest, gruffest-looking were usually the
friendliest. I’m glad
that they’re there, and that they are on my side!.
- No cameras or video was
allowed. Period. At orientation we were told that cameras
of any kind would be taken away, with or without film or tape, and
that they would not be given back. There were signs everywhere
that said the same thing. I think they meant it!
- The Red Cross takes good care
of their volunteers. They emphasized that they didn’t want
anyone working more than they were comfortable, encouraging breaks and
refreshments. "You cannot be effective helping others if
you are not properly fed and rested."
- One of the instructions of the
Red Cross: "Never say ‘no’." If anyone wants
something, you either get it or tell them you’ll find out how.
- At first I was amazed at how
nice and caring everyone was. Then it occurred to me that it
shouldn’t be any more surprising than finding tall people on a
basketball team. Of course they’re nice; that’s why they are
volunteers! People who aren’t, don’t.
- The men and women whom I
served were very gracious and appreciative. There were many
comments such as "You guys are doing an amazing job" and
"Thanks for being here". It felt good. At one
point, a uniformed officer was bussing his own table and I told him
"Let me get that so you can go do something important."
His reply: "You guys do enough around here"
- I walked by a fire station and
there were still a tremendous number of bouquets covering the sidewalk
in front. Fresh bouquets. Remember: this was six
weeks after the attack!
- One evening a number of sirens
converged on my sister’s building and stopped there. I went
out to see what was going on and there were 26 firemen investigating a
gas leak in the area. To me they were bigger than life, standing
there in that heavy turn-out gear with the yellow reflective strips,
oxygen tanks, helmets… they looked just like they did on the news
and in photos taken during and after the attack. For some reason
it seemed surreal being around and among them as they did what they
do. I approached a small group and asked if I could get them
anything. One of them said, "Sure… what’s the score [of
the Yankee game]". I ran upstairs like a little kid to find
out for them, and they appreciated it. It felt great to be able to do something, however small, to bring them the tiniest shred of
happiness.
- I worked with Red Cross
workers from all over the country who are on a program where they are
assigned for 3 weeks at a time. Naturally their travel and
lodging expenses are paid, but they are on-site for that long.
Many of them had renewed for an additional 3 weeks and had been there
since only a few days after the attack. You can also get
extended training and get put on the payroll. I’m not sure of
the exact details, but you can find out at www.RedCross.org
- Dogs were used at Ground Zero
to help find victims in the rubble.
Unfortunately, there were very few found and the dogs were
getting discouraged. So,
to buoy the dogs’ spirits, handlers and workers would hide in the
debris so the dogs could “find” them, at which time the dogs were
lavishly praised. Ground
Zero dogs were also having trouble because the pads on their feet were
getting damaged by all of the sharp objects and heat.
Volunteers from around the country sent in protective booties
for them to wear.
- Dogs were also used at the
Family Assistance Center to encourage and to lift the spirits of the
victims’ families. They
are trained to be especially loving and enthusiastic; it’s a
wonderful feeling for most people when a dog is happy to see them and
wants to lick away their tears.
Now that I'm back home I'm filled with conflicting feelings about the
experience. I feel great that I was able to help. What I did
wasn’t glamorous or heroic, but it was very gratifying to know that I
did something. I also feel frustrated that I couldn’t do
more.
Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. I heartily recommend
that you volunteer for something if the opportunity presents itself.
There is no feeling quite like it.
Comments or
questions?
Why volunteer? Read the comments
of a psychotherapist on the benefits of volunteering.
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